Does your partner suck? Steak & Blowjob Day 2017

So March 14th comes round again, and if you close your eyes and listen really carefully, you can hear people celebrating. But what (I hear you ask as though on cue) is being celebrated? Is it the fact that on this day in 1794, Eli Whitney got his patent on the cotton gin, thereby making cotton a profitable crop and making american slave owners very happy indeed? No. Is it that because of coincidence and the odd* way North Americans write  their dates, today sort of looks like the circumference of a circle divided by the diameter? A bit, but you should have been there in 1592. Shit was off the charts.

No, today is Steak & Blowjob day, a day which is still trying to be a thing, encouraged by eyebrow waggling boyfriends everywhere. And hey, if that’s your deal and you’re both on board with it: more power to you. I will not stand in between you and the meat.

But why not change it round a little?

This morning I put three quick polls on twitter, asking people on my timeline about strapons:

Interesting, right? At the time of writing there’s a little while to go yet, but more than half of voters allegedly dive down onto the silicone with gusto. You’ll see a fair few people also answered Why? since -obviously- there is no immediate physical payoff, you are after all merely sucking a piece of plastic. (unless you get something like this, thank you Charlotte for the recommendation and Emmeline for the passionate review)  Before I tell you what I think, let’s look at the next poll.

See? It seems to not matter very much that the cock is silicone. The act of having someone on their knees, giving it all they got, is in and of itself an amazing turn-on! It’s a power play, and it serves the idea that -and you might want to sit down for this- sex isn’t about your cock! So get your girlfriend off by sucking a dick like you’re trying to start a fire! The numbers tell me you might like it too!

Strapon Blowjob

Gear up and get down

So gear up, you guys! Mrs Gryph and I very much enjoy Rodeoh harnesses, seriously they’re awesome; check with your favourite smut merchant. As far as cocks go, please go spend all your money over at Godemiche, they put the Dong in redongculous!

And finally, by way of summary:

I wonder what the results would have been, had the boyfriends come home, kissed their girlfriends and said “You do the steaks, I’ll take care of the rest.” before slowly dropping to their knees, eyebrows waggling all the way down.

 

 

[for narrative purposes, this write-up describes a mixed gender couple, at least one of whom possesses a penis. Feel free to queer it up in your head any which way, though! But really, us queers have known about stuff for years!]

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